Understanding Social Anxiety: What It Is and How to Manage It
Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy or nervous in social situations. It is a mental health condition that can deeply affect a person’s daily life, relationships, and sense of self. If you’ve ever found yourself dreading social gatherings, fearing judgment, or feeling physically unwell in public, you’re not alone. Millions of people experience social anxiety, but the good news is that it’s manageable with the right tools, support, and strategies.
In this post, we’ll explore what social anxiety is, how it shows up, reasons it develops, ways to prevent it from worsening, and strategies to overcome and manage it.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety disorder (sometimes called social phobia) is characterized by an intense, persistent fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected in social or performance situations.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), social anxiety is one of the most common anxiety disorders, affecting about 7% of the U.S. population each year while Statistics Canada reports the one-year prevalence in Canada is 6.7%, and lifetime rates range between 8% and 13%. It typically begins in the teenage years but can start earlier or later in life.
Key characteristics include:
Excessive fear of being scrutinized or judged by others
Avoidance of social situations
Intense worry before, during, and after events
Physical symptoms like sweating, blushing, trembling, or stomach upset
Ways Social Anxiety Presents Itself
Social anxiety can look different depending on the person and the situation. Some people experience it only in certain contexts, while others feel it almost all the time.
Common presentations include:
Public speaking fear: Avoiding presentations, meetings, or speaking up in class or at work
Workplace challenges: Struggling with interviews, networking, or team interactions
Social avoidance: Declining invitations or leaving events early
Physical symptoms: Shaking hands, racing heart, or nausea when meeting new people
Perfectionism: Worrying excessively about saying the “wrong thing”
Post-event rumination: Replaying conversations and fixating on mistakes
Reasons for Social Anxiety
Social anxiety doesn’t have a single cause. Instead, it often develops from a mix of factors.
Contributing factors include:
Biological factors: Genetics can play a role—having a family history of anxiety or depression increases risk.
Brain chemistry: Overactivity in areas of the brain that regulate fear responses, such as the amygdala.
Childhood experiences: Bullying, rejection, criticism, or trauma in formative years.
Personality traits: People who are naturally more inhibited or sensitive may be more vulnerable.
Cultural and social influences: High pressure to perform or “fit in” can reinforce anxious tendencies.
Ways to Prevent Social Anxiety from Worsening
While you may not be able to prevent social anxiety entirely, you can take steps to reduce its impact or stop it from escalating.
Helpful prevention strategies include:
Early support: Talking to a professional when symptoms first appear
Healthy lifestyle habits: Prioritizing sleep, exercise, and balanced nutrition to support mental health
Gradual exposure: Gently practicing social skills in small, safe situations
Mindfulness and relaxation: Using breathing exercises, meditation, or grounding techniques to reduce stress
Limiting avoidance: Facing fears rather than avoiding them, to prevent reinforcing anxiety
Ways to Overcome and Manage Social Anxiety
Managing social anxiety often requires a combination of approaches. What works best depends on your needs and preferences.
Evidence-based strategies include:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Helps identify and challenge negative thought patterns
Encourages gradual exposure to feared situations
Shown to be one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety
2. Mindfulness-Based Practices
Focus on being present rather than worrying about judgment
Can include meditation, yoga, or mindful breathing
3. Medication (when needed)
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are often prescribed
Medication should be discussed with a healthcare provider
4. Self-Help and Lifestyle Practices
Journaling to track triggers and progress
Practicing self-compassion and positive affirmations
Setting small, achievable social goals
5. Support Networks
Talking with trusted friends or family
Joining a support group, either locally or online
Working with a therapist or coach
Scenario: Social Anxiety During the Holidays
Emma has always felt anxious in social situations, and December tends to be especially stressful. She loves the idea of holiday cheer but worries about attending her company’s holiday party and her extended family’s Christmas gathering. The thought of small talk, mingling with people she doesn’t see often, or being asked personal questions fills her with dread.
As the holiday season approaches, Emma begins to experience:
Racing thoughts about how others will judge her.
Stomach knots and tension before events.
Irrational fears about saying something “wrong” or embarrassing herself.
At the company holiday party, she finds herself standing near the snack table, watching colleagues laugh and chat. She feels isolated, tense, and desperate to leave. At her family gathering, she nods along politely but avoids conversations, fearing criticism or awkward interactions. By the end of the season, Emma feels exhausted, disappointed, and guilty for not participating as fully as she wanted. Let’s look at some positive coping strategies Emma might have used and some negative ones that probably won’t help long-term.
Positive Coping Strategies
Preparation & Planning
Make a plan for events: decide which parties to attend, how long to stay, and what topics to talk about.
Practice small talk or responses to common questions ahead of time.
Set Realistic Expectations
Recognize that it’s okay to attend events for short periods.
Avoid pressuring yourself to be the life of the party; participation in small ways is enough.
Use Calming Techniques
Deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises before and during social events.
Focus on physical sensations (like the feeling of your feet on the floor) to stay present.
Seek Support
Attend with a trusted friend or family member who understands your anxiety.
Have a code word or signal to step away for a short break if needed.
Celebrate Small Wins
Even engaging in one meaningful conversation is progress.
Reflect on what went well rather than dwelling on perceived mistakes
Negative Coping Strategies
Avoidance
Skipping parties or family gatherings to escape anxiety.
This may provide temporary relief but often increases isolation and reinforces fear.
Excessive Alcohol or Comfort Eating
Using alcohol or food to cope with anxiety can mask feelings temporarily but may worsen anxiety afterward or create guilt.
Self-Criticism
Ruminating over perceived failures in social interactions.
Saying “I’m always awkward” can reinforce negative self-beliefs.
Overplanning to Control Every Outcome
Trying to script every conversation or interaction, which can increase anxiety if things don’t go as planned.
For someone like Emma, the holidays can trigger social anxiety, making joyful events feel overwhelming.
Accessible Resources
If you or someone you know struggles with social anxiety, these resources provide reliable information and support:
Evidence-based information about symptoms, causes, and treatment
Tools, fact sheets, and self-help strategies
Accessible explanations, personal stories, and support options
Beyond Blue (Australia)
Resources and forums for managing anxiety in everyday life
Free, evidence-based workbooks and guides
Books: The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson (a practical, research-based guide).
Final Thoughts
Social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it does not define you. Understanding what it is, why it happens, and how it presents itself is the first step toward healing. With the right strategies—whether therapy, self-help tools, or community support—you can reduce its impact and build a more fulfilling, confident life.
If you recognize these patterns in yourself, know that you’re not alone, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength.
I don’t know if what I have is social anxiety, sensitivity or the traits of an introvert. I worry about how I will feel and interact at a medium-sized event and often predict it might not go so well and that I will feel awkward. Strategies I have used over the years are:
pace my social interactions so I have less overwhelm
let go of the guilt that I will not participate in all possible events, better to show up to a couple and engage, than force myself to go to more and not
when possible, organize smaller groups so that I am not anxious
remind myself that most times the social interaction ends up being a positive experience
What about you? Are you comfortable in your social interactions? What ways do you support yourself to have fun and worry less?
